Volatility and Victory
by MissJayne
Summary: With Mommy and Daddy away, the Gibblets will play. When Gibbs and Jenny end up in quarantine for a fortnight, Tony and Ziva start a prank war that rapidly spirals out of control. Companion piece to Quarantine.
1. Prologue

_This is a companion piece to Quarantine. You do not have to read that one to understand this one, although I hope you read both at once. Both stories are happening simultaneously. One chapter counts for one day and thus updates will be daily._

_For Megan. For making me get off my backside and writing this. And for coming up with some brilliant ideas along the way._

Volatility and Victory

Chapter 1: Prologue

"Going to arrest our suspect. Man the fort."

Tony DiNozzo glanced up as his boss walked past his desk towards the elevator, the Director by his side. Had he missed something? Since when were Gibbs and Jenny on speaking terms?

He turned to speak to Ziva about it, ignoring her threat to kill him if he interrupted her work one more time.

"Am I the only one who thinks Gibbs and Jenny are heading back to her house to work out some of their tension?" he asked.

Ziva glared at him, her eyes promising pain in his future. "Yes, you are the only one," she answered. "Does your mind ever leave the bedroom?"

"Come on, _Zee-vah_," he needled. "Everyone knows the parents were more than just good friends back in the day."

"No," McGee interrupted. "You _think _they were. You and Abby speculate endlessly about it."

"You wouldn't recognize sexual tension if it bit your behind, Probie," Tony countered. "Although perhaps if Abby was doing the biting…"

A knife skimmed past his head, slamming into the wall behind him. He fell out of his chair in shock and the squad room was filled with the combined laughter of McGee and Ziva. "You missed," he noted, not sure whether it was a good idea to stand up or not. If he stood up, he would be back in Ziva's line of fire.

"I did not miss," Ziva replied. "If I got blood on the carpet, Gibbs would make me clean it."

Tony wondered if that was supposed to reassure him or if she was simply trying to lure him out. He decided to stand up anyway. Gibbs had to have a rule somewhere about not killing co-workers. If he didn't know the rule number, there was a fair bet that Ziva didn't either. And he could always bluff.

"How long do you think Gibbs and Jenny will be gone for?" McGee wondered aloud. "And who's in charge while they're out?"

Tony straightened up. "That would be me, Probie. I am the Senior Field Agent."

"But that does not give you the right to take over from Jenny," Ziva snapped. "You are not the Assistant Director."

"We don't have an Assistant Director," Tony pointed out. "Maybe we shouldn't have let Jenny leave…"

"I thought Vance had the job?" Ziva questioned.

"He does," McGee answered. "But he's in the hospital at the moment. Something about being mauled by a tiger?"

"How did he… Never mind," Tony decided. "The point is that I'm in charge."

"Until Gibbs comes back," Ziva remarked. "And then he will probably kill you."

"The boss would never –"

"You have been acting like a three-year-old all week!" Ziva almost screamed.

"And that is being kind to a three-year-old," McGee added.

Tony scowled. "Stop getting involved in things you don't understand, McChild," he ordered. Privately he was more worried about McGee reminding Ziva of all the things he had done in the past week to annoy her, which with her current mood was likely to lead to his untimely and painful demise.

Ziva rolled her eyes, but seemed to calm down. Tony wasn't so sure he was off the hook though; the knife still sticking in the wall behind him was a good reminder.

NCISNCISNCIS

Timothy McGee had his head down and was hard at work when he heard someone sobbing. His head shot up and he glanced around, but he couldn't identify the source of the noise.

He looked over at his wayward teammates. Ziva was glaring at Tony, making him wonder just how long it would be before she launched another assault on him. They needed Gibbs to return to control the situation.

And Tony was openly reading GSM at his desk, commenting aloud on every article and picture. McGee was getting to the point where he wanted to get Abby to find a way to silence him.

Or give Ziva a roll of duct tape and hold Tony down.

The sobs grew louder and he turned his head towards the back elevator. His heart dropped. Ducky was moving towards them, slowed down by a crying Abby. Her head was buried in his shoulder.

Before he could rise from his chair to offer more comfort, Tony and Ziva spotted the new arrivals. Ducky stared at them for a moment and McGee found himself on his feet.

"Everyone sit down," Ducky ordered kindly, which only caused Abby to start sobbing even harder. McGee grabbed the chair behind him and forced himself into the seat, dimly aware that Ziva and Tony were doing the same thing.

"Who died this time?" Tony panicked.

"I want you to take several deep breaths," Ducky continued, ignoring the question for the moment.

They obeyed, too scared to argue.

"Gibbs and Jenny have been exposed to a biological agent," Ducky informed them. "It is highly virulent and toxic."

McGee felt all the blood leave his face. On Ducky's arm, the Goth continued to cry.

"The CDC have taken them away to receive medical care," Ducky finished. "They will be quarantined for the next fourteen days and if they show any symptoms…"

Tony cleared his throat. "How bad is it?"

Ducky sighed. "If they show any symptoms, they are likely to die," he admitted. "It's untreatable and extremely contagious."

McGee tried to remember to breathe. He knew the dangers they faced every day, but this… this was…

Abby's head rose from Ducky's shoulder. "They're going to die!" she wailed. "I'm planning their funerals!"

"Isn't that a bit premature?" McGee queried.

She slapped his arm. "Don't be silly," she sobbed. "I've had all of your funerals planned for years. I thought I would have to use Tony's when he got the plague."

"You've planned my funeral?" Tony asked. "Thanks, Abs. Saves me doing it."

"So why have you not planned Gibbs'?" Ziva inquired. "Or Jenny's?"

"Because the silver haired fox is invincible!" Abby cried. "And he would take a bullet for Mommy. They can't die! They can't! Gibbs doesn't ring in sick – he rings in dead!"

"They can't die," Tony repeated. "Tell you what; I'll wear my shiny new black suit tomorrow. They can't die if I'm already dressed for the funerals."

Abby launched herself at Tony, who promptly struggled to stay upright. McGee took in the dark mascara stain on Ducky's shoulder, shrugged his shoulders and walked over to the growing cuddle pile – Ziva having already wrapped her arms around both Tony and the Goth. As they held each other, he tried to imagine life without Gibbs and the Director.

And failed miserably.


	2. Day One

Chapter 2: Day One

Ziva David was worried. And this was definitely not normal.

Jenny – her friend, her former partner, the one who had brought her to America – was languishing in quarantine. And likely to die. To make things worse, Gibbs – her mentor, her father figure, the one she trusted with her darkest secret – was in exactly the same predicament.

She had barely been able to sleep, although she looked well-rested. She was too used to functioning on little sleep, first with Mossad and then with Gibbs. She had tossed and turned all night, her mind unable to shut down, memories of happier times with both Jenny and Gibbs playing through her head.

Forcing herself to appear calm at least on the outside, she continued to fill an envelope with talcum powder. An old note from a friend was tucked inside and she sealed it up. A slow grin formed on her face. With such a large shadow hanging over their heads, she knew they all needed something to lighten the moment.

If only she could think straight. Somewhere in the back of her mind, alarm bells were going off.

* * *

Tony strolled into the squad room, only late by accident. He couldn't be responsible if the roads around the Navy Yard had turned into a parking lot.

His shiny new black suit upon him, in an attempt to appease Abby, he continued on his way, a fake smile plastered on his face. He was the team leader for the moment. They would be looking to him to guide them and he couldn't allow them to wallow in grief before Gibbs and Jenny were declared dead. No bug would dare attack Gibbs and the boss wouldn't allow Jenny to die.

Not when he would have to break in a new boss.

He nodded at Acting Director Wofford as she passed him, her nose buried in a file. Deep down, he was glad that he wasn't running the agency. He wouldn't be able to go out in the field and he was sure the Acting Director was busy planning two big funerals.

Briefly wondering whether to send Abby her way to help out, he ducked behind a cubicle wall as he heard Ziva and McGee talking. He needed to have the upper hand before he saw them.

"I'd love to get a letter from an old friend." He heard McGee's wistful voice.

"I am excited," Ziva admitted. "I have not seen or heard from him in so long. We used to talk every day but since I joined Mossad, it became a lot more difficult."

"You going to open it?" McGee asked.

"Not when Tony could walk in any minute," she answered. "He would find some way to cheapen the moment."

Tony's grin became genuine. Things needed to go back to normal around here, and what was more normal than him annoying his fellow teammates? He stood up, brushed the imaginary specks from his suit and made his way over. "Do you have anything to share with the class?" he greeted Ziva.

She looked at him as though he had grown another head. "What class?"

He rolled his eyes. The things his little ninja Mossad chick didn't understand… "Never mind," he ordered. "Do we have a case yet?"

"Acting Director Wofford has ordered us to catch up with paperwork for the next few days," McGee interjected. "She told us to take it easy."

Tony nodded, agreeing with the idea. They weren't functioning at their best, not after the news they had received the day before. A little down time would be nice.

Ziva's cell phone rang, drawing him out of his thoughts. She walked away to answer the call in private, accidently leaving the envelope he was so curious about on the Probie's desk. Before McGee could claim it for himself, Tony snatched it and walked away.

"Tony," McGee hissed. "Put it back."

He shook his head, his fingers already pulling the envelope apart. Ziva was still out of sight so he gave it one final tug…

And almost screamed in horror when a white powder went everywhere. Over his new black suit, over his hands, over his shoes… and almost certainly a few particles into his lungs.

"Tony," McGee hissed, more urgently.

The terrified agent turned around to face McGee. The younger agent's eyes widened in shock before his brain kicked into gear. McGee stood on his desk and yelled for everyone to evacuate.

"Why is this happening to me again?!" Tony freaked.

* * *

With the boys in the showers, Ziva found herself in Abby's lab. Strange blue lights were everywhere, the music had been turned off and the Goth looked worried.

"It is talcum powder," the Israeli called out, having already ascertained that the lab was empty except for the two friends.

Abby whirled around. "How do you know?" she snapped. "It could be the plague, anthrax –"

"Because I put it there," Ziva confessed.

The Goth stared at her for a long moment. "Do you know what happened the last time Tony opened a letter with white powder?" she demanded in the end.

"I wanted to ruin Tony's suit," Ziva continued. "And bring him down a peg or two. I forgot that NCIS treats white powder in a different way than Mossad."

Ziva watched as Abby risked a small smile. "How does Mossad treat it?" she asked, her curiosity taking over.

"I did not come to tell you about our rules and regulations," the Israeli smiled. "I just wanted to reassure you that Tony will be fine. Scared, but fine."

Abby nodded. "You're not off the hook for this, Miss David," she warned. But there was a soft smile on her face and Ziva knew she was safe. For now.

* * *

McGee was already bored with Autopsy. Ducky and Palmer were in protective suits while he and Tony were sitting on separate metal tables. And Tony would not shut up.

It was obvious the Senior Field Agent was panicking. He hadn't mentioned movies in the last half an hour and he was rambling on about the last time he had been ill. McGee couldn't blame him – if he had ever had the plague, he would be as freaked out as Tony was now – but he wished Tony would shut up.

"I'm going to have to go to Bethesda," Tony whined. "I hate Bethesda. I wonder if I'll end up with Nurse Emma again? I'm going to be a human pin cushion –"

"Tony," Ducky interrupted. "It would be best if you could keep calm. Your blood pressure is high. If the powder is harmless, you will only have to spend one night at Bethesda. But if you keep increasing your blood pressure, they will want to keep you for longer."

A look of pure panic crossed Tony's face.

"What?" McGee inquired.

"Kill me now," Tony ordered.

"And why would that be?" Ducky checked.

"I'm going to have to share with Gibbs!"


	3. Day Two

Chapter 3: Day Two

Tony DiNozzo waited for the metal cage to reach his floor so he could start his day at work. This time he had a very good excuse for being late. The doctors at Bethesda had insisted on checking him over one final time before releasing him.

He was unharmed, the powder was harmless and he hadn't had to share with Gibbs. They hadn't even been in the same building! Although he had heard a rumor that Gibbs and Jenny were sharing a room somewhere at the behest of the CDC. He wondered if he could start a few bets over it…

At least the parents hadn't died yet. Nor were they showing symptoms. But he was still relying on rumors going around a different hospital and he knew they would be a few hours behind the latest news. Their quarantine had a lot longer to run.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He was glad he was alone for the moment.

Once the doctors had told him that the envelope contained talcum powder, his mind had kicked into overdrive. He had a funny feeling this was all Ziva's fault. She had brought the envelope in, she had left him alone with it – something she should know better than to do – and she had avoided the mandatory blood tests and isolation until their blood had been cleared.

And she would find it amusing as well. Especially after throwing a knife at him a few days ago. She wanted revenge for his behavior over the last few weeks and while the parents were away…

A slow grin formed on his face. With Mommy and Daddy away, he could play as well. There was no one to tell them off, no one to glare at them and deliver head-slaps. Perhaps this was for the best. They could work out their tension, the parents could work out theirs, and everything would be fine in the end.

The grin continued to grow as he stepped off the elevator into the squad room. He knew exactly where he was going to start.

* * *

Timothy McGee was nervous. He had returned from a visit to Abby to find Ziva missing and Tony sitting at Gibbs' desk.

He had comforted himself with the knowledge that Ziva must have gone out for something. Tony had definitely not killed her and disposed of her lifeless body – there was no way Tony could kill the assassin.

He knew things between Tony and Ziva were about to get a lot worse. There was only one reason that Ziva would not have sworn revenge on whoever put the powder in the envelope – if she had known it was harmless before they did. And judging by her relaxed demeanor for the rest of the day, she had known. Tony was smart enough to put two and two together and was undoubtedly planning his own revenge now.

And he was going to be caught in the crossfire.

Not for the first time, he wished for Gibbs to return. The boss kept everyone in line. Tony had done an admirable job during Gibbs' 'retirement', but it hadn't been the same and everyone knew it. McGee had been exceptionally glad when the boss had finally returned.

He knew Gibbs would survive. He had to survive. The agency would fall apart without him. And the boss wouldn't let Jenny die either. The Acting Director was planning two funerals for nothing.

The elevator dinged and McGee looked up to see Ziva arrive, a Berry Mango Madness drink in her hand. She glanced over at Tony and gave him a brief smile.

"Glad to see you are okay," she told him. "Did you enjoy being a pin pillow?"

"Cushion, _Zee-vah_," Tony corrected without batting an eyelid. "It was a horrible experience but at least I don't have the plague again."

McGee was content to watch the banter, but he was a little concerned with whatever Tony was doing or had done to get Ziva back. However, there was no way to warn her with Tony in the same room.

"Did you see Gibbs or Jenny?" Ziva inquired, taking another sip of her drink and standing in front of Gibbs' desk. McGee didn't care who was sitting there – it would always be Gibbs' desk.

"Lots of scuttlebutt, didn't see them," Tony noted. "Are you planning to gossip all day?"

She rolled her eyes and headed towards her desk. She sat down…

And the chair collapsed underneath her. The Berry Mango Madness went everywhere. McGee's eyes widened in shock and he glanced across at Tony to catch the huge grin on his face.

Ziva stood up carefully, her face a perfect picture of fury.

"I'm going to see Abby," Tony announced, slipping from the squad room before she could erupt.

* * *

Ziva David was not happy. Not happy at all.

How dare Tony rig her chair to collapse! It was not as though she had given him anything harmful in the envelope, while she could have come to harm by landing awkwardly on the floor.

And she was covered in her favorite drink. She knew from experience that it stained her clothes and she had spent half an hour in the restroom frantically trying to save her top. Now she was dressed in the spare set of clothes she kept in her desk for emergencies and was looking for revenge.

She knew just where to start.

Tony had spent the morning sitting at Gibbs' desk, acting as though he was in charge for good. He had been lording it over them from his self-appointed spot and it was her turn to get back at him.

She remained silent as a group of agents walked past the desk she was currently hiding under. She did not have long – Tony was due back from a trip to Ducky any minute – but she could not get caught under the desk either.

Finally the coast was clear. She slipped out from under Gibbs' desk and made her way to her own. At his own desk, McGee looked more anxious than ever, but she trusted him to keep his mouth shut. Just in case, she pointed at the box containing paperclips in front of her and hid a smirk as he gulped.

Tony appeared minutes later, a cup of coffee in his hand as he channeled Gibbs. He smiled at them as he settled carefully in his chair. He had to know she was out for her own revenge.

She smiled at him, a smile that promised pain in his immediate future.

And then his desk collapsed.


	4. Day Three

Chapter 4: Day Three

Timothy McGee was glad to be on another coffee run. He was going insane in the squad room. It was only a matter of time before either Tony or Ziva continued their prank war.

It was definitely a war now, after Ziva had made Gibbs' desk collapse the day before. She had thrown down the gauntlet and Tony was sure to respond. Neither the Israeli or Italian were likely to stop – they were determined to win this game. McGee knew from prior prank wars that they had a habit of spiraling out of control.

Although Gibbs was usually there to stop them. Or the Director would step in and remind her agents that they were supposed to be adults, not children.

But McGee did not have the nerve to step between the two warring parties. Ziva could kill him with her little finger and Tony could make his life a living hell. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Abby was enjoying the fun. She had bought popcorn and was offering bets in place of Tony. McGee had already put a bet on Ziva winning after making Abby promise not to tell anyone. He was certain that the assassin would fight till the death, although hopefully it wouldn't be a literal death.

The door to the coffee shop opened and out of habit, McGee turned around to glance at the newcomer.

It was Ziva.

Already he felt nervous. He knew this place didn't sell Berry Mango Madness, but it did sell Tony's coffee. He closed his eyes and wished Abby was by his side. She would know what to do.

* * *

Ziva David took in her surroundings before she continued. She needed to be sure that Tony was not lurking in some dark corner. Her whole plan would go astray if she was not cautious.

She spotted McGee waiting in line, but decided she could proceed anyway. He might enjoy what she was about to do and he would not tell Tony regardless. He valued his life too much for that.

She slipped to the side of the queue and caught the manager's attention by smiling. He came over in a flash; she hid a grin at how easy men were to manipulate.

"I was hoping you could do me a favor," she began, slipping him a hundred dollar bill and a photograph.

He nodded fervently. "Anything."

"This is my husband," she lied, pointing at the picture. In reality, it was Tony's official NCIS photo, the one in his file and on his badge.

"Oh." The manager was definitely not happy to learn of her 'marriage'.

"We have three children," she continued. "And now he has run off with my brother."

McGee, who had finally reached the front of the line, snorted. She shot him a quick glare to warn him to keep quiet. She turned back to the manager and was pleased to see sympathy on his face.

She decided it was time to work herself into a little state. Allowing a tear to fall from her eye, she continued. "What am I supposed to tell my children? Their Daddy is now their uncle?!"

She had to bite her tongue at the look on McGee's face. He was trying so hard not to laugh and give the game away. She reminded herself to buy him a little present to make it up to him later.

"I'm so sorry," the manager offered. "What can I do to help?"

"Do you recognize him?" she asked.

The manager nodded. "Been coming in a lot more regularly recently. I know him."

She placed the other nine bills on the table, each identical. "Could you please give him decaf for the next ten days? I want him to suffer through caffeine withdrawal."

"Of course," he soothed.

"And then could you switch him back to espresso?" she inquired. "He has an important business meeting that day."

The manager continued to nod and slid the money back to her. "We'll do it free of charge," he promised.

* * *

Ducky sighed as he treated his latest guest. This one was not lying down on his steel table, but sitting up and holding a wad of tissues to her right ear.

Ziva removed the tissues from her ear to reveal a rather unnerving amount of blood underneath. She did not seem to be in much pain, more annoyed. And he did not want to get involved anymore than he had to.

"What happened, my dear?" he inquired, swabbing her injury with alcohol. To her credit, she didn't flinch.

"Tony thought it would be amusing to place itching powder on the earpiece of my phone," Ziva informed him. "And then he called me from Abby's lab with an update on our case."

"I wasn't aware you had a case," Ducky interrupted. "I thought Acting Director Wofford gave you paperwork."

"Yes, but everyone is busy at the moment," she told him. "It is not a complicated case, just a breaking and entering. Tony thought we could handle it."

"I am sure you've been doing an admirable job," Ducky reassured her. "How long did Tony keep you on the phone for?"

"Long enough." It was her turn to sigh. "I was scratching my ear but did not realize. Well, not until the blood started to drip down my arm."

Ducky resisted the urge to go upstairs and whack Tony's head. Had the man no sense? The injury could become infected. And he hadn't even come downstairs to check up on his partner. If he ever managed to contact Gibbs, he could certainly be informing him of this.

He shook his head softly. It was not that he minded when the 'children' needed to get rid of the tension, but he was not happy when he was required to patch things up. It didn't help that he had been unable to get hold of Gibbs or Jenny. He had been calling for the last few days but was always told he couldn't be put through. At least they were still not showing any symptoms.

"You will need to keep it covered for the next few days," he instructed his guest. "It shouldn't hurt much, although it may be a little sore. And do not kill Tony."

Ziva grinned. "I do not plan to kill Tony," she admitted. "I know plenty of other ways to get revenge."


	5. Day Four

Chapter 5: Day Four

The bandage on her ear annoyed Ziva David. It itched worse than the itching powder had done, it diminished her hearing and it looked awful. But she could not remove it – Ducky would not be happy.

She adored Ducky. He was like a grandfather to her. She trusted him and could let her guard down around him. Whenever she was upset or confused, Ducky would make it all better with his tea and a friendly smile. He would listen to everything she said and refused to judge her.

She jerked her head to one side as though it would remove the bandage. She hated it. It was a constant reminder that Tony had managed to get one over her.

Was that the right phrase?

Whatever it was, he had won a round. And she was in a very unsympathetic mood now. She had not pulled this prank since a new Mossad recruit had commented on the size of her butt.

Although she had broken his arm in three places before that.

It did not take long for her to leave her gift on Tony's chair. It took even less time to leave McGee's gift on his desk – a chocolate cupcake. He deserved it, especially as Tony had been complaining of a severe headache from the afternoon onwards yesterday, and all his energy appeared to have vanished.

Tony seemed even worse today. She wanted to grin, but she knew he would become suspicious. Instead she had politely suggested that perhaps he had caught the latest bug going around. And she had also suggested he needed to lay off the alcohol on work nights. It was always possible he had a bad hangover.

Judging by the way he had groaned, she suspected he might have overindulged. It killed two birds with one stone – he would drink less and would no longer suspect she had anything to do with his mysterious headache.

Taking a long sip of her Berry Mango Madness that she had bought with the money she had found in Tony's wallet when she had lifted it off him, she settled down to wait for her prey.

* * *

Tony DiNozzo continued his walk down the stairs and his chat with Acting Director Wofford. There were some things that really needed to be sorted out.

"And Agent McGee doesn't seem to accept that _I _am the Senior Field Agent and therefore in charge. He spent most of yesterday in Abby's lab and I'm sure they were gossiping like little girls instead of getting any work done."

Acting Director Wofford seemed unconcerned. "Unless it actually affects their work, I don't mind if Agent McGee decides to spend a little time helping Abby," she informed him.

Tony followed her into the squad room, admiring her wedges from behind. It was a pity that Jenny didn't wear them, but they looked good on the Acting Director. "Well, I have something a little more urgent," he continued, wondering if Wofford would stay away from her office for long enough for him to hunt for Jenny's Tylenol. He needed something for his headache before he snapped.

Wofford smiled briefly at Ziva before turning to him. "Can you make it fast? I have an appointment with Agent Fornell in a few minutes."

"It's the urinals on this floor," Tony admitted. "They're broken again. I think someone deliberately breaks them within minutes of maintenance fixing them. Can you send them in?"

She nodded. "I'll add it to my list of things to do," she promised. "They're currently fixing the door to the evidence garage after Mr. Palmer drove into it by mistake, but I'll send them by when they're done."

Tony smiled his thanks and dropped into his chair.

Only for him to scream and jump up less than a second later.

Acting Director Wofford looked at the chair and he followed her line of sight. It was a little tricky with the pain in his butt.

Thumb tacks. Someone had placed thumb tacks all over his chair. And he had just sat on them.

"Going to see Ducky," he declared, stumbling towards the back elevator. Damn Ziva. In front of his superior as well. He wasn't going to be able to sit down for a week.

Hitting the button for the elevator, he tried to decide how to get back at her. Although maybe he could ask Ducky for some Tylenol…

* * *

Timothy McGee was not happy to be back in the squad room. The entire agency had heard about what Ziva had placed on Tony's chair, and he knew it was only going to get worse.

Although he had been pleased to find a chocolate cupcake on his desk. Ziva had smiled at him and promised on Abby's life that she had not tampered with it in any way. He had not needed the promise; he trusted her. It was Tony he didn't trust with food.

The cupcake had been delicious and he had been sure to thank the Israeli. He knew what it was for – not telling Tony about the events in the coffee shop. McGee had found it so amusing that he didn't think he would be able to tell Tony through his laughter. He was already trying to find a way to work it into his next book. He could see Officer Lisa bribing the barista…

After a while, Ziva had vanished and Tony had reappeared. McGee had taken the opportunity to get another coffee so that he could not see anything Tony did in revenge for the thumb tacks. He was still trying to avoid the crossfire, not caring who won. But it was becoming harder and harder every day.

He thought they were both acting like little children. Gibbs would have their heads when he returned. They wouldn't even have to tell him; he would just know.

He ended up returning to the squad room a few minutes before Ziva. As she entered, he smiled at her.

She smiled back, dropping her bag on the floor, placing her favored drink on her desk and checking her chair before sitting down. McGee risked a grin at her quick check. He wouldn't put it past Tony to mess with her chair again, even though it would be a repeat prank. They would have to run out of ideas at some point.

He began to check his emails again. Three from Abby, one from Ducky with a preliminary autopsy report attached, two more from Abby, one from Tony reminding him to work not check his email…

"DiNozzo!"

His head shot up at Ziva's bellow. She looked furious. She lifted her hands up to show the computer keyboard attached to them.

"I love superglue," Tony smirked.

"I will kill you as soon as I have a single finger free!" she screamed.


	6. Day Five

Chapter 6: Day Five

Tony DiNozzo was sitting gingerly on the edge of his seat. Ducky had assured him there would be no lasting damage, but it still ached.

Damn Ziva for coming up with the idea of using thumb tacks. He had been debating whether or not to fetch some from the stationary cupboard and use them on both Ziva and McGee. Now she had ruined his plan and left him in pain.

He tried to access his emails on the computer in front of him, but struggled. His hands had started shaking last night and they were getting worse. He hadn't been able to sleep and he felt irritable. Not to mention his nausea.

He rubbed his eyes. Maybe he was coming down with something? The flu, perhaps. Jenkins in Accounting had gone down with it only the day before. And the Probie looked a little peaky.

Although the paleness of his skin was more likely a combination of too much time with his typewriter and his nerves over the current situation. It wasn't as though Ziva would kill him. Tony was debating involving the McGeek a little more, but only because he needed to join in with things. He couldn't sit on the fence forever.

He groaned as he reached for his coffee. Caffeine was the only thing that could possibly make him feel better. The super-strong brew was likely to kill any bug inside him.

He stopped rubbing his eyes and moved onto his stomach. It had been aching and now felt even worse. Food poisoning. It could be food poisoning. He wasn't going back to that little restaurant again, no matter who offered to pay.

And then suddenly he bolted for the restroom. He needed the toilet and badly. For a brief second, he wondered if Ziva could have slipped him laxatives. And then he stopped thinking.

* * *

Five hours later, Abby found herself in the squad room with Tony.

She was amused by the ongoing prank war and had offered her services to both sides. She was friends with both of them; she couldn't see the problem. In a way, she was like Timmy – she wasn't taking sides. Instead she was prepared to assist anyone who asked.

It was fun! She had supplied Ziva with a pack of laxatives first thing this morning and had a funny idea of where they had gone, judging by the way Tony was whimpering and cursing his partner. From what McGee had told her, Tony had been in the restroom for a good deal of the day, only emerging to call hoarsely for more toilet paper.

And now she was helping Tony. The worst seemed to be over, although he was still rushing to the restroom every now and then. She had gone out during her lunch break and presented him with a pack of toilet paper, earning her a massive smile. Her offer to assist him with his revenge had been the icing on the cake for him.

She wondered how long this prank war would continue. Probably until Gibbs returned, going from previous wars. And Gibbs would return – Ducky had managed to get his hands on their bloodwork and had reassured her everything looked normal. But there was still time for symptoms to show and kill the parents.

She forced the morbid thoughts form her mind. Gibbs and Jenny were doing well for the moment and that was good enough. She knew they would be fine.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

"This is awkward," she informed Tony, who was holding the other end of the desk.

"Very awkward," he agreed. "But it'll drive her crazy trying to find her desk."

"And she'll be even more crazy when we tidy it up again," Abby giggled. "Do you realize how long it's going to take to rearrange her desk to make it look identical?"

"It'll be worth it," Tony growled. "Right, how do we get this out of the elevator?" He looked around him in confusion.

"We got it in," Abby noted. "It's possible to get it out."

"But how?!"

She shrugged. "How long have we got?"

* * *

Ducky continued to work on Admiral Druce. For once, it wasn't a suspicious death. But when a two-star admiral had a suspected heart attack in the middle of an important meeting, it was always worth checking.

He was all alone for the moment, if he didn't count the admiral. Mr. Palmer was desperately trying to get the insurance sorted with his old car. Apparently, the insurance company were not happy to pay out when someone drove their car into the door of an evidence garage.

Ducky could understand on one level. But on another, he knew it had been a terrible accident. Indeed, Mr. Palmer was lucky to have escaped with no injuries except to his pride. And his car.

He sighed. However many autopsies he had performed in his life, they always went much faster and easier with an assistant. He supposed he could ask Abigail to give him a hand, but she was dealing with a lot of evidence at the moment and he didn't want to disturb her. Not when he could do his job on his own.

At least the Goth was staying out of the prank war. He did not count taking bets as getting involved – if she didn't do it, someone else would. And that someone else would not know the team as well as she did.

The elevator dinged and he looked up out of habit. He half expected to see Jethro emerge.

But it was Tony. And Abigail. And a desk…

He stared in shock as they continued to pull the desk from the confines of the elevator, somehow managing to head for the doors to Autopsy. A familiar swish announced their arrival.

"Hey Ducky!" Abigail greeted him with her usual enthusiasm. "Do you mind if we leave this here for a little bit?"

Removing his hands from Admiral Druce's intestines, he went over to have a look. "Is this Ziva's desk?" he asked.

"Good catch," Tony grinned.

"I would rather you didn't," Ducky told them.

"Please?" Abigail pouted. "We'll put it in the corner, out of your way. And we haven't tampered with it."

He found himself giving in. If they had simply moved it… "Very well," he agreed. "But this is the end of your prank war, understand?"


	7. Day Six

Chapter 7: Day Six

Abby smiled as she sat on McGee's desk. It was a little early in the morning for her liking, but she'd come in earlier in the past to run evidence for Gibbs. And whatever the hour, she did not want to miss this.

She was enjoying this prank war. It was a pity it would have to stop when the parents returned. She refused to think about the possibility of Gibbs and Jenny not returning; if they could make it five days without symptoms, they were likely to be in the clear.

And life wouldn't be the same without them. Tony would be in charge permanently. She was rather fond of Tony as a leader, but he had a habit of trying to be Gibbs and it wasn't the same. The idea of retraining him was enough to give her nightmares.

Whatever the doctors at the CDC said, Mommy and Daddy were fine. Otherwise the prank war would go on forever and her silver-haired fox wouldn't allow that. He would come back from the dead to stop the war if he had to. Although perhaps that wasn't the most positive thought she could come up with…

"Do you want a hand, Ziva?" Abby asked, slipping off the desk and moving to the Israeli's side.

Ziva nodded. "This is taking longer than I thought," she complained. "And I am sure I will run out before long."

"McGee could always run along to the stationary cupboard and get some more post-it notes," the Goth pointed out, smiling dangerously. She knew just how to persuade him to do her bidding.

The Israeli looked up from covering Tony's entire workspace in post-it notes. "That might be useful," she decided. "I only have half a pad left and I wish to cover his chair before he comes in."

"Good thing Tony's always late," Abby giggled.

Ziva shot her a sharp look. "What did you do?"

"Nothing serious!" she protested. "I have a spare key to his apartment, so I went in last night and hid his car keys. He'll find them in the end and he'll never suspect."

Ziva grinned.

"I am not lending you the key to his apartment," Abby immediately stated. "Although if you steal it from me…"

* * *

Ducky observed the 'Gibblets' in action. Ziva and Abigail were busy putting the finishing touches to their project, while Timothy stood nervously on the sidelines.

He felt sorry for Timothy, stuck in the crossfire. While almost everyone in the building had taken sides – with the possible exception of Acting Director Wofford who was supposed to be above such things – the two of them chose to sit on the fence.

It was easy for the doctor to stay out of the way. He was in Autopsy and thus removed from the general bustle of the Navy Yard. Most of the time, it was simply him, Mr. Palmer and his latest guest. The only time people came down was when they wanted results or sanctuary.

But it was a lot harder for young Timothy, working as he did in the middle of the fight. Even if he escaped to Abigail's lab for a few hours, both Tony and Ziva were soliciting help from her. And on top of that, Abigail was taking bets from everyone. The wagers seemed to be on everything, from the next prank to the overall winner. He had heard a few rumors on the size of the pool for the latter. Although he knew it would be exaggerated, silly amounts were being thrown around.

He did feel a small temptation to put a little money on the winner himself. But he constantly reminded himself that he was not happy with the situation. He had a funny feeling who would win – Tony. The ex-cop was far more sneaky than Ziva and he had lots of experience in pranks.

Yet he still worried about Ziva's reactions. If Tony did something particularly stupid, he had no doubt that Ziva would go after her partner with everything she had. And it would not be pretty.

He shook his head softly as the females stepped back to admire their handiwork. Ziva nodded to herself as Timothy gulped.

The desk, chair, computer and everything else on the desk had been covered with a single layer of yellow post-it notes. It gave it an other-worldly look. And it was definitely visible from a distance.

Ducky sighed to himself. Tony was not going to like this.

* * *

Ziva David hummed to herself as she finished typing up her report.

She felt the day had progressed nicely. Tony had finally wandered in around midday, freezing in the middle of the squad room when he caught sight of his desk. He had spent the next hour ripping the sticky notes from all the surfaces while McGee had retreated to the semi-safety of Abby's lab.

And she had spent the hour chuckling softly to herself. It had not escaped his attention.

Overall, she thought it was a job well done. It was something deceptively simple and yet clearly annoying. And it showed everyone what she had done as well. She enjoyed embarrassing him in front of others. He did it often enough to her.

She stared at her notes as she tried to complete her report. After this, she was going to treat herself to another Berry Mango Madness. She had already bought one when Tony had finally managed to clear his desk and promptly stomped off to see Abby. Another drink would be the icing on the cake.

At last. She pressed a few final keys and leant back in relief. Two hours of typing, but it was over. She had finished it the day before it was due in; Tony had not even started his yet.

Smiling to herself, she pressed the save button.

And the computer refused.

Puzzled, she pressed a few more keys. And then the computer decided to wipe itself clean.

In panic, she pressed as many keys as she could. She shook her screen. She looked up for McGee but he was nowhere to be seen.

Her report! And everything else saved on her computer! How could this be happening to her?

She raised her eyes heavenward and suddenly spotted something. On the catwalk in front of MTAC. Tony. Laughing his head off.

So this was a computer trick. This was why Tony had visited Abby the moment he had cleared his desk.

She stood up slowly, keeping her eyes on him. She was going to make him pay for this.


	8. Day Seven

Chapter 8: Day Seven

Tony DiNozzo was feeling exceptionally pleased with himself. The look of panic on Ziva's face the day before as her computer pretended to wipe itself clean! He had spent the whole night laughing about it and knew it was going to be a fond memory for years to come.

He leant back in his chair, musing further on the previous day's events.

Once Ziva had spotted him, she had figured it out in an instant. And then she had chased him all over the Navy Yard. He had not been in the mood to find out what she would do to him if he was caught. Judging by the murderous look on her face, he suspected it would be extremely painful.

Luckily, he had managed to hide in a paint locker in the basement of the next building. It had taken a phone call from Abby to draw him out; Acting Director Wofford was looking for him and the Goth advised he show his face. Deciding to risk the possibility of it being a trap, he had been pleased to find Ziva back at her desk and looking a little less homicidal.

He was still reluctant to do any work. His report was due on the Director's desk before he went home, but he had hours. And it wouldn't take too long to write anyway. Ziva might have done hers the day before, but she was an over-achiever. There was no point in doing anything before it needed to be done.

"Erm, Tony?" the Probie called from his desk.

Tony sat up and fixed him with his best Gibbs-glare. "What?" he growled.

"Acting Director Wofford just called. She wants –"

"Why didn't she call me?" Tony interrupted. "I'm the Senior Field Agent."

"She said something about your phone not working. She wants the reports by midday, not midnight," McGee finished.

Tony rolled his eyes. Great. Now he would have to work, not think about yesterday. He opened the file and began to type.

And then he stopped. He tried again. Same reaction.

"McGoo," he called. "Why are the keys I'm hitting giving me the wrong letters on my screen?"

He pushed his chair back to let the McGeek have a look. It took less than a second. "Someone's switched your keys around," came the answer.

"Fix it," Tony demanded as he stood up. He needed more coffee to get rid of his persistent headache.

* * *

Timothy McGee wondered why he was always stuck with the worst jobs.

In theory, switching all the keys back was an easy job. But it was fiddly and boring. No wonder Tony had left it to him. DiNozzo didn't even have a clue where the keys should be.

He was sitting in Gibbs' chair, Tony still using the boss' desk. It felt an odd place to sit. Normally, he wasn't allowed anywhere near here. Anyone who dared to use Gibbs' chair was risking certain death. Even the Director stayed away from it.

It didn't matter that Gibbs was in the hospital. McGee still half-expected him to appear out of nowhere and glare at him until he gave the chair back. He had sat in it before when fixing Gibbs' computer, but this felt different. Mainly because Gibbs ordered him to 'reboot' his computer, while this time Tony had commandeered it for a fortnight.

It had better be a fortnight. If Gibbs didn't come back…

McGee shuddered.

Tony was a good boss, he knew that. But Gibbs kept Tony in line. And no one could compare to Gibbs.

Life without Gibbs at NCIS had already been tried, when Gibbs had run off to Mexico. It hadn't been the same though. The whole time, it had been awkward. They had needed their fearless leader to keep them in line. Tony couldn't do that.

McGee replaced the last few keys, admiring the simplicity of Ziva's prank. Most of hers had been simple so far, with the exception of the coffee shop. He wondered whether Tony had realized yet that he was drinking decaf. He glanced towards his calendar where the day Tony would be returned to espresso was noted. He was already debating whether to find a reason to help the techs in the basement on that day. Anything to be out of Tony's way.

He smiled softly. Ziva was going to win. He was sure of it.

* * *

Ziva David was happy to be back in the squad room. Tony had evidently discovered her tampering with his keyboard and she suspected he had forced McGee to sort it out. Tony definitely did not know his keyboard well enough to fix it for himself. Not without getting himself in a terrible muddle.

She continued to clean her gun in full view of her teammates. McGee was watching her nervously while Tony was trying to ignore her. Not that he was really – she could see every time his eyes flickered over to the weapon in her hand – but she was willing to leave him in his delusions for now.

She had always found it amusing to clean her weapons in the middle of the squad room. Gibbs always ignored her, occasionally informing her of a missed spot just as she was putting it away. Those moments always made her guarded. She was sure his eyes never left his computer screen…

Earlier, she had sharpened her knives with Tony and McGee watching. Neither of them had bothered to hide the dread in their eyes as she worked methodically. They had some downtime after all. What else was she supposed to do but prepare for their next assignment?

A phone call made her glance up from the job at hand. Tony reached for his phone with a wariness that puzzled her, until she remembered who they would call if something happened to Gibbs or Jenny. She made another mental note to try to call Jenny at some point while Tony spoke quietly on the phone.

"Gear up!" he ordered as he hung up.

Ziva sighed in relief. Everyone was still alive. Good. She put her gun in its holster, checked her knives were about her person and reached for her cell phone. She did not have to look up to know Tony and McGee were going through their routines.

Finally, she reached for her bag. She swung it over her shoulder…

And almost fell over.

It was heavy. Too heavy. Much too heavy.

She emptied the contents onto her desk. Rocks. Tony had filled her bag with rocks. She glared at him as he walked past her.

"Last one to the truck rides in back," he called gleefully over his shoulder.


	9. Day Eight

Chapter 9: Day Eight

Tony DiNozzo smiled to himself from the safety of the elevator. Today was another glorious day. The sun was shining, it was lovely and warm outside and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Today marked the halfway point of Gibbs and Jenny's quarantine. Given that neither of them were showing any symptoms at all, with the possible exception of wanting to kill each other by now, Tony privately felt they were fine. Nevertheless, he wished he could talk to Gibbs. He didn't trust the doctors all that much.

Although he trusted Ducky, and Ducky had promised to let them know the minute he heard anything from anyone. Sometimes it was very handy to be friends with a medical examiner. Ducky knew who to talk to and everyone was keeping him in the loop.

A week. One week left in charge of his motley crew. He snorted as he began to think of pirate movies. Ziva would look very hot in some of them…

The elevator arrived at his floor and he stepped off, automatically glancing towards Ziva's desk to see if she was there. For once, she was missing. He wasn't sure if it was good or not; he couldn't tell if she preferred to watch her pranks come to fruition or stay away from the scene of the crime. A little bit of both, he assumed.

Knowing she wasn't there gave him a touch more confidence and he strolled casually to Gibbs' desk. It felt so good to use the Boss' desk. It was as though it was a source of all of Gibbs' magical powers.

It didn't take him long to turn his computer on and turn his attention to more important things. Carefully placing his new edition of GSM on the desk and briefly wondering if Ziva had bought her own copy yet, he turned away from it to type his password into the computer.

The computer went up in flames. Everything. The monitor, the desktop, even the keyboard.

He jumped backwards in shock, forgetting he was sitting in a chair and promptly falling over the back of it. Looking around him, he was surprised that no one had noticed the fire yet. He opened his mouth to call attention to it but the sprinklers beat him to it.

Soaked to the skin and incredibly annoyed, he decided to hunt for Abby. She could help him get his partner back for this.

* * *

Ziva David sat at her desk, pleased none of her papers had come into contact with the water from the sprinklers. Naturally it had something to do with her placing everything in her desk long before Tony's computer caught fire.

He should have guessed that Abby would help her. Females were supposed to stick together. And the Goth knew that Tony needed to be brought down a few keys.

Or was it stairs?

She shook her head. American idioms were impossible. If Jenny were here, she would have gone to ask the redhead. Jenny had seemingly infinite patience when they practiced their English together. And Ziva never teased her friend for messing up her Hebrew.

Glancing up again, she tried to work out which computer the techs had got to. She was not worried about them, merely feeling inconvenienced. It was simply a routine inspection of various computers, something about checking to see if anything improper was on them. Ziva was not sure what 'improper' counted as, but assumed she was safe. She suspected Tony was more likely to fall afoul of the rules than her.

She continued to type up another report. It was not as though she had anything else to do. They had already found a suspect in their case, Tony had broken him in Interrogation and now they had a report to write. Part of her wished for more complex cases, but she knew Tony was keeping them in the Navy Yard as much as possible in case something happened to Gibbs or Jenny.

She shook her head again. Tony needed to realize that nothing was going to happen to them. If they could make it one week without showing symptoms, they were probably okay. The doctors were likely only keeping them in quarantine to cover their behinds.

Briefly, she wondered what Gibbs and Jenny were doing. She suspected they would be bored; Ziva knew she would be bored if she was forced to stay in a small room for two weeks. Both Jenny and Gibbs needed to be out doing things. Forced inactivity was good for no one.

A tech stopped in front of her desk, looking surprisingly nervous. She smiled at him and stood up to allow him access to her computer. With a bit of luck, this would not take long. McGee usually kept her machine in perfect running order so she expected everything to be easy to search for.

"Ma'am?" The tech looked up at her, more nervous than he had been before.

She glared at him for the 'ma'am' comment.

"Erm, your computer has a lot of porn on it," he told her.

She turned around sharply. Where had Tony got to? And how had he got so much porn onto her computer?

* * *

Abby rubbed her hands together and resisted the urge to cackle. She had helped both Tony and Ziva today and it felt strangely satisfying.

Burning Tony's computer had required skill and timing. Putting porn all over Ziva's computer had required no skill beyond transferring the porn from a computer she had examined for evidence the previous week across computers. Both had still been highly amusing.

Especially as Ziva was now trying to explain herself to Acting Director Wofford and Tony now had to replace Gibbs' entire computer.

Not that the Bossman would notice. Maybe now she could make sure he got a better model.

She was definitely enjoying this more than she should. It was so rare for her to leave her lab and venture into the rest of the Navy Yard, but now she had company almost all the time in the form of McGee and she was able to wander anywhere. Tony and Ziva were both asking her for help and she did not plan to disappoint.

She also hadn't realized how much fun it was to organize the pools. The odds were slowly tipping in Tony's favor, much to his delight. But the Goth was confident that Ziva would win in the end. The sisterhood would prevail.

Even if she would continue to assist both sides.


	10. Day Nine

Chapter 10: Day Nine

Ziva David watched as her partner slept. Part of her wanted him to wake up, while another part wanted him to snooze for a little longer. He looked so much younger when he slept…

At least he was not snoring yet. She had a feeling her knife would end up in his chair when he did. The man snored enough to awaken the dead!

Or was it new-born?

Rolling her eyes, she glanced at the finished report on her desk. She had been forced to finish it this morning instead of last night after the… incident. She had not enjoyed attempting to explain her partner's hand in the porn that had magically appeared on her computer, especially as Acting Director Wofford had pointed out Tony's lack of computer skills.

Without wanting to drop Abby into this mess, she had instead wondered aloud if it could be a computer grinch. After the Acting Director had corrected her phrase, the two of them had come to the tacit agreement that it was all some unfortunate misunderstanding and it would never happen again.

The snoring began. Ziva's hand began to inch towards her knife. How could one person make so much noise? It was deafening.

Taking aim, she threw the weapon at Tony's chair, smirking when it hit its target two inches from Tony's left ear. He woke up at once, looking all around in panic.

"Stop snoring," she ordered him, turning back to her own desk and looking for some work to do.

"That's the second knife you've thrown at me in a week," he complained.

"I have not hit you," she pointed out. "And I have not run out of knives. Yet."

She did not have to look at his face to know his eyes had widened in terror. She did so enjoy winding him up.

"I have a meeting," he announced.

She turned around to see him slowly rise from his chair. "With whom?"

"Acting Director Wofford. Something about porn mysteriously appearing on computers."

She shrugged her shoulders and tried to look innocent. And she watched carefully as he took his first step.

He looked down in shock. "Am I wearing lead shoes or something?" he wondered aloud. He tried another step. "It's not lead. It's –"

"Sand," she smiled.

He stared at her. "Sand? How am I supposed to walk in sand?"

"I grew up in Israel," she shrugged. "Lots of sand there. I am sure you will cope."

He immediately took off one shoe and tried to empty it over his trashcan.

"Or perhaps not," she decided.

* * *

Timothy McGee felt safe in Abby's lab. No matter how many times she threatened to kill him and dispose of his body without leaving any forensic evidence, he knew she would never go through with it. Unlike a certain Mossad Officer upstairs…

He didn't think Ziva would kill him. She liked him too much. But he knew she was capable of killing him and that scared him.

If she was going to kill anyone, McGee knew it would be Tony. The idiot didn't seem to realize that winding up an assassin was hazardous to his health. One day Ziva would snap, and not even Gibbs would be able to hold her back then.

It felt odd to be working in the lab almost permanently, but it was the safest place to be. Tony and Ziva were likely to destroy the squad room before long and he wanted deniability. Not to mention the risk of being caught in the crossfire was so high. Working with Abby was safe, ignoring the chemicals that could boil him from the inside out.

He smiled to himself as they continued to hack together. He enjoyed days like these. Nothing to worry about except the problem in front of him. Working with someone who appreciated his talents and encouraged him to greater heights. Not having to listen to Tony's running commentary on movies and women. Having Bert to hand as a stress relief.

"Yes!" The lab erupted into cheers as they found what they were looking for. That was another thing he enjoyed about working with Abby. Her enthusiasm. Her obvious delight when they succeeded. The few moments they would always take to celebrate between jobs.

They hugged for a short moment.

"Do you think they've killed each other yet?" Abby asked, pulling away and reaching for her next piece of evidence.

"Tony and Ziva? Possibly. But I can see Gibbs making them clean the blood out of the carpet on his return."

* * *

Tony DiNozzo continued to smirk as he stood outside the elevator doors.

The elevator was currently being used for one of Gibbs' conferences, although Gibbs wasn't in there. And there certainly wasn't a conference taking place inside the metal cage. Ziva was the only one inside and she was stuck between floors.

Other agents were grumbling as they had to use the stairs, but Tony found it all amusing. Abby had once shown him how to stop the elevator from the outside. It wasn't something that was easy to forget; his initial plan had been to trap Gibbs and Jenny inside when Abby installed another camera. But this was a much better use for his knowledge.

Five hours. She had been trapped for five hours now. Maintenance were busy dealing with a few other things, namely releasing Palmer from a morgue drawer that he had somehow got stuck in. Tony wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know how that had happened.

Which had lead to Ziva being considered a lower risk than Palmer. Ziva was merely uncomfortable; Palmer was in danger of freezing to death if he wasn't released by the morning.

Now Maintenance had arrived on the scene and were talking to his partner via her cell phone. He chuckled as he remembered she was definitely not claustrophobic but probably extremely ill-tempered. She liked having the freedom to move around and the freedom to drink her Berry Mango Madness. Neither was available in her new room.

The elevator began to make its way upwards and he stood back a little from the doors. The last thing he wanted was for her to kill him on sight. The familiar ping sounded and the doors slid open.

Ziva charged out in the direction of the women's restrooms.

Tony grinned.


	11. Day Ten

Chapter 11: Day Ten

Ziva David took a slight detour when she arrived in the squad room. Instead of heading for her desk or even the one Tony had stolen, she headed for the men's restrooms.

She was rather fond of these. They were much better than the female restrooms, although Jenny had put some lovely hand cream in them, much to the delight of almost every woman in the Navy Yard. No, the superiority came from not having groups of gossiping women standing around.

And it was also the same restroom her teammates used. It was the perfect spot to coerce Tony or give McGee an encouraging talk. Gibbs' reaction was her favorite – he acted as though she was allowed to be in there. Although she doubted she would ever find him in the female restroom, he certainly did not mind her using the men's.

She was not here this morning to use the restroom. Her hands were clean and she was not aware if any of her teammates were inside. She had come here to place something on the door.

It was a simple sign she had made the previous night. 'Out of Order'. Three little words that struck fear into the heart of everyone, especially when they were on an elevator or a restroom door.

She had come up with her plan the night before. She had been cursing Tony for trapping her in the elevator until her dash for the restroom had inspired her.

Not that Tony normally inspired anything, with the exception of murderous thoughts. But her desperate desire for the restroom had given her an idea.

Given all the coffee Tony was drinking at the moment in an attempt to emulate Gibbs, he was using the restroom more often. And given the current problems in this particular men's restroom that Maintenance never seemed to be able to get on top of, it would not surprise anyone to see her sign.

She stuck her sign to the door before going in herself. She had one more thing she needed to do to make this work…

* * *

Tony DiNozzo was exceptionally happy. It had something to do with the Probie being in the squad room for once. He had forced McGeek to come up after his computer had started to make some very odd noises. He was the Senior Field Agent, the person in charge in their glorious leader's absence. Surely he could not be expected to use a computer that was attempting to impersonate a jet engine?

Ziva was also present, completely ignoring him for once. He wasn't sure what to make of it but decided it was probably a good thing. Given what he'd done to her yesterday, he had half-expected her to fire a missile at his car or something.

But he had woken up to find his car in one piece and where he'd left it. Before moving off, he'd checked the brakes. He didn't trust Ziva as far as he could throw her right now. He'd also checked for bombs – a habit after someone had blown up his car.

He never could be too careful. And he wasn't going to let anyone else destroy a classic car.

"Probie!" he demanded. "What's taking so long?"

McGee huffed. "There's nothing wrong with it," he claimed.

"Then why does it sound as though it's about to grow wings and takeoff?" Tony asked. "I'm scared to sit by it; it might explode. And how am I supposed to work with that sound in my ear?"

Ziva giggled, Tony guessed at the thought of his computer exploding. He sincerely wished she hadn't roped Abby into something.

"It's running a spyware scan. I installed it on Gibbs' computer a few months ago and he's never complained," McGee pointed out, moving away from the computer in question.

"Spyware? So you've put something in there to spy on me?"

McGee sighed while Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Even I know it is checking for spyware, Tony. It is not spying on you!" Ziva replied.

He shrugged his shoulders in response and pulled a face as she left the squad room, presumably to collect another Berry Mango Madness.

"So I have to put up with that sound forever?" Tony wondered aloud. "Do something about it, Probie!"

"I can't do anything about it," McGeek protested. "But it'll finish its scan soon and then it will shut up."

"That's it?" Tony was surprised.

"Well, it's a scheduled scan so it'll do it again this time tomorrow," McGee admitted.

Tony immediately turned his best Gibbs-glare onto the young Probie. "Make it stop."

"I can't," came the reply. "It's mandatory for all computers to have up-to-date spyware installed and for it to be run every day. Without fail."

Tony continued to glare at McGee.

"You can ask Abby, if you want," McGee spluttered. "It's true! It's regulation –"

"You bet I'll be asking our mistress of the night," Tony growled. He had to put up with this every day? How had Gibbs not succumbed to the urge to put a bullet through the computer?

McGee nodded and appeared to calm down. Tony reclaimed his chair and surveyed his kingdom.

"Maintenance are so behind at the moment," he noted. McGee nodded in agreement. "What's broken? The back elevator, one Interrogation room –"

"The urinals on this floor," McGee interjected.

Tony groaned. "Still? I asked Acting Director Wofford to –"

"Maintenance fixed them but they broke yesterday."

Tony groaned again. "Great. On the topic of really annoying things, the girl at the coffee shop has been giving me really odd looks lately. We've been flirting for months and all of a sudden she's giving me the cold shoulder."

"Maybe it was something you said," McGee offered. "Didn't you tell me that women go through funny phases from time to time?"

He shrugged his shoulders, sipping the last dregs of his coffee. "Restroom break," he announced. "Go back to Abby and get her to flirt with Peter."

"Peter?"

"One of the Maintenance guys," Tony clarified, standing up. "He's got a soft spot for her. I want those urinals fixed."

He headed towards the restroom, not bothered with the Probie anymore. Abby would do the job; she would get everything fixed in record time.

He spotted the sign on the door and sighed. It hadn't been on there yesterday when the urinals had broken. Which meant…

Ziva.

She had to be planning to slip him more laxatives. Why else would she put the sign up? Making a mental note to watch her and his drinks very carefully for the next few days, he entered the restroom anyway. He made his way to the first cubical, remembering the useless urinals.

There was clearly nothing wrong with this toilet.

Ten seconds later, he discovered how wrong he was when his urine went everywhere.

Clingfilm.

She had stretched clingfilm across…

She was dead.


	12. Day Eleven

Chapter 12: Day Eleven

Abby shuffled her feet nervously as she waited for Tony to return. She couldn't do this. Well she could, but Gibbs would not be happy.

She was still in high spirits over her phone call with Jenny and Gibbs the previous day. They had been given one phone call and had decided to call her! She had spent the rest of the day bouncing around in delight and telling everyone about it.

But Gibbs had ordered her to stop helping them _and _he had banned her from her precious Caf-Pow. The lack of caffeine in her veins was getting to be painful – she needed her fix. But Gibbs had ordered her not to…

And now Tony had come up with a brilliant plan. She loved it! It was masterly. And it required her help!

Thus she had a dilemma: help Tony and get into trouble with Gibbs, or not help Tony and stay on Gibbs' good side. She really wanted to help Tony and yet she really wanted to obey her silver-haired fox. Doing both seemed impossible. And she could hardly call Gibbs back and ask for permission to do something he had just forbidden her to get involved with.

At least Gibbs didn't know about the bets she was taking. If he didn't know about them, he couldn't be mad at her for it. Nor could he forbid her from continuing. She giggled to herself at her logic.

But it still left her with a problem. To help Tony or not to help Tony.

The elevator dinged and she listened to the familiar sounds of Tony's arrival. He strode into the lab, full of confidence. She knew the moment he spotted her. "Abs?" he called.

"Hey Tony." She attempted to smile at him but didn't succeed.

"What's wrong? I'll kill him," Tony offered.

"It's Gibbs," she confessed.

Tony gulped. "I won't kill him then," he stated.

"I'm not supposed to help you anymore," she told him. "But I want to help you."

Tony thought about it for a moment. "Gibbs won't know if you've helped me or not unless I tell him, right?"

She nodded slowly.

"And I'm not going to tell him. I'm deeper in this than you are and you'd just rat on me," he observed.

She began to smile. "Just this once," she decided. "And if you tell Gibbs, I'll boil you from the inside out and not leave any evidence."

* * *

Ziva David smiled to herself as she stepped off the elevator and into Abby's domain. She enjoyed it down here. She was always sure of a warm welcome and a friendly ear. Why would she want to go anywhere else?

Abby was standing in her usual spot, her music up loud as she danced to it. Ziva suspected she was also singing along quietly, a habit the Goth was developing. Taking care to move silently, she tapped Abby's shoulder and smirked as she jumped out of her skin.

That had to be the wrong phrase. Abby's skin was still on her, but the Goth used the expression in the same way she was now. Ziva shook her head in confusion.

"Ziva!" Abby squealed, launching herself at the Israeli. Ziva struggled to stay upright and to breathe.

"Hey Abby," she gasped. "New music?"

Abby let go and grinned. "Tony bought me the new Suicide Commando CD this morning. It's so good! I've got it at the optimum volume for both the bass and the lyrics. Do you like it?"

"It is… not really my kind of music," Ziva confessed, trying not to let her friend down too much. "You said something on the phone about some results?"

She watched as Abby's mind whirled. "Yes," the Goth recalled. "Major Mass Spec gave me a hinky result on the powder you found at the scene. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I'm looking into it as we speak. Well not as we speak, but I was doing it before you came in and I think I've found a possible match but I don't know how it fits with any of your potential suspects –"

"What did you find?" Sometimes it was better to interrupt Abby before she went completely off topic.

Abby reached for a glass beaker. "When our mystery powder is mixed with this acid –"

And then her fingers slipped and the beaker fell, spilling most of its contents onto Ziva.

"Biohazard showers, now!" Abby ordered, her voice full of panic. "Get it off you!"

Ziva found herself almost pushed to the elevator; she could not run fast enough for Abby. She counted the seconds in her head as the elevator made its way towards its destination, wishing Abby was with her. But the Goth had dashed back into her lab to call for help. She whipped her jumper off fast to prevent as much acid as possible from touching her skin.

As the elevator came to a halt, she charged towards the showers, racing inside and turning the water on immediately. She began to take deep breaths and calm down as the cold water washed over her, remembering that cold water was safer with acids than warm water was.

She took her time in the showers, knowing it was better to stay inside for as long as possible. She had heard the door to the locker area open several times. Once, Abby had called to say she had left some fresh clothes out for her. Ziva had smiled at the thoughtfulness of the Goth.

Eventually she emerged, minus a towel as she couldn't find one to hand. She looked around for her clothes…

And everything started to slot into place.

Her clothes were missing. And the acid had not hurt her. Which meant the acid was not an acid but something harmless, and Tony wanted to embarrass her by making her find some clothes without anything to wear.

She rolled her eyes. She was not embarrassed. Calmly, she walked towards the elevator and headed down to Autopsy. It took her less than thirty seconds, but she knew Ducky would be present and possibly Palmer.

She walked straight through the doors. She was right about Palmer. He just stared at her as though he had never seen a woman before. Ducky merely sighed.

"I would like to borrow some clothes," she asked.

Ducky made his way towards her. She was still standing by the doors. He removed a coat from the back of his chair and wrapped it around her.

"This should keep you warm," he smiled sympathetically. "I'll go and find a pair of scrubs for you."

"Thank you doctor," she replied, watching him as he left.

Tony was dead. She was not going to give him a moment's peace for this.


	13. Day Twelve

_A/N: I know this is going up rather early, but I need to move flats tonight and am about to take my computer apart._

Chapter 13: Day Twelve

Ziva David lay on the rooftop opposite Tony's apartment. From here, she could see everything going on inside.

With the help of a good pair of binoculars anyway. And occasionally she would check her sniper scope.

After the events of yesterday, she wanted revenge and she wanted it badly. She had not been troubled by her disappearing clothes and her subsequent trip to Autopsy. It had been her panic at the thought of acid being split on her.

She could not blame Abby. If she had come up with the idea first, she would have used it on Tony. Which meant the blame lay squarely on Tony's shoulders and she was going to make him pay for it.

He had thrown down the gauntlet. She knew exactly how to respond.

With a move he would not be expecting.

The night was cold, but it did not bother her. It was a rare opportunity to see what was going on inside Tony's home life. It was disturbingly boring; he was sitting on his couch, eating pizza from a takeout box and watching the television. She had wanted to see him exercising or reading a book, although she knew it would never occur. The only book Tony had finished to her knowledge was _Deep Six_.

She looked upwards to see the twinkling stars. She always liked looking at them; they were constant. She could find North from anywhere on the planet with the help of a clear sky. They always looked pretty as well. They reminded her that she could not change everything.

Sighing, she looked back into Tony's apartment. At least he did not have a girl present. That was the main reason she had been waiting, to double check. She did not want to scare any female inside; this was meant for Tony only. Although if push had come to shove, she had already decided she would carry out her plan regardless. She found it amusing to wonder how Tony would explain it.

Glancing at her watch, she decided to proceed. She picked up her rifle, adjusted the scope and took careful aim.

* * *

Tony DiNozzo was happy to be sitting on his couch all alone. Today had been tiring. They had caught a case which had been thankfully cleared up by lunch, but the paperwork was immense. This was the last time he was arresting a Senator's aide without Gibbs being present.

He had not bothered with his usual trip to the nearest bar tonight to celebrate the end of a case. He was much too tired and on his guard. A relaxing evening in was the perfect solution.

Ziva had yet to get him back for the 'acid' incident. It worried him. On the one hand, it was possible she had decided to give up while she still had all her limbs attached. On the other hand, Ziva letting him win was about as unlikely as Gibbs and Jenny doing the horizontal mambo in the squad room in the middle of the day.

Which meant she was planning something. Something big. And he had no idea what it was.

He guessed it was going to be painful. The time delay either meant she had already done something he hadn't noticed yet or she was busy putting the finishing touches to her master plan. He wasn't sure which he would prefer.

He had triple checked his car every time he had been to it. Everything looked safe. He had checked his apartment for any hidden surprises on his return home a few hours ago. Nothing. He had rung Abby and asked to borrow something to sweep for electronic devices tomorrow morning on the off chance she had planted a bug somewhere to spy on him.

And he was rapidly running out of ideas.

Perhaps this was her master plan. To make him wait forever while she did nothing. It was a terrifying prospect. Yet it sounded like something his partner would do. She had the patience to play a long game, even if she threatened to kill anyone who crossed her. He would be forced to remain on his toes for the rest of his life.

He took a sip of his beer and leant back against the couch. Now he was worried. Now he wanted her to get on with her plan.

CRACK

He jumped up in shock, spilling his beer as his brain caught up with his body. Someone had shot at him. A sniper. He fell to the floor to make it harder for them to shoot at him again.

His brain made the final leap. It was Ziva. She was trying to kill him!

* * *

Abby groaned when someone knocked on her door. It was probably Bob again. She wondered how long this would go on for before she had to tell Gibbs she had another stalker in the works.

Sighing, she climbed out of her coffin and headed towards the door. "Go away, Bob," she called. "I have a boyfriend and he says he'll come after you with a baseball bat if he sees you."

A complete lie, but she was sure Gibbs would wield the baseball bat in question if he found out about Bob. She loved _el jefe _from the bottom of her heart for a reason.

But if Gibbs was away, perhaps she could get Tony to go after him. Tony wasn't as scary as Gibbs, but he was currently channeling him and it was always worth a try. She could get Gibbs involved if Tony wasn't successful.

She smiled to herself. It was a good plan. The last thing she wanted was for Bob to run into Michael and for them to start their own little stalker fan club.

"I'm coming!" she yelled when the knocking continued. She flung open the door. "Tony?" she questioned.

"Can I come in?" His eyes were darting everywhere and he wasn't wearing a coat. He was also shivering.

"Sure." She stepped back and he raced inside. "What happened?"

"Ziva tried to kill me."

Abby found this highly unlikely. Ziva would not try to kill her partner.

"She fired a bullet into my apartment!"

Ah. Probably missing on purpose. If she had wanted to kill Tony, he would be dead by now in a much more painful way.

"Do you mind if I stay the night?" he asked. "I don't think she'll kill me here."

Abby nodded, smirking. Tony was right; he was safe her.

"Oh, Abs?"

She turned around to look at Tony again.

"Who's Bob?"


	14. Day Thirteen

Chapter 14: Day Thirteen

Ziva David slowly worked on her latest report. She had had little sleep the night before after shooting at Tony. She had followed him to Abby's apartment, little to her surprise. He doubted she would hurt him there.

In a way, he was right. She had no further plans to hurt him that night and if he felt safe at Abby's, she did not plan to disabuse him of that notion. Abby would let her through the door if she asked nicely.

And she had plans to involve Abby again. She had heard about Gibbs forbidding her to get involved, but this would not be involvement in the usual sense. All she would have to do is make an accurate phone call to Tony…

She tried not to giggle. Tony was not going to know what had hit him. But she had other plans for today. Ones than involved her trip to the coffee shop ten days ago.

Tony was due back onto espresso this morning after ten days of decaf. She had silently watched him suffer through caffeine withdrawal and now he was going to be wired.

That could not be the right word. Wired was like… like the Thunderbirds were wired.

She wished for Jenny to return more than ever. The latest news was that Gibbs and Jenny were still well and were expected to be released in two days. Ziva was counting the hours until Tony was no longer in charge. Unfortunately it meant their little war would have to come to an end as well, or Gibbs would kill them both.

She stretched in her chair as best she could. Perhaps she was more tired than she had thought. Regardless, she could not stay in the squad room when Tony arrived. He would drive her up the wall. She needed to find somewhere to hide…

With Abby, where McGee was hiding. Or maybe with Ducky. He would supply her with tea and a comfortable conversation throughout the day. It was not as though she really needed to be sitting in the squad room all day anyway. Tony would call her if they picked up a case.

Smiling to herself, she headed towards the back elevator. Palmer was supposed to be absent today. She would go and keep Ducky company.

* * *

Tony DiNozzo knew he was sporting a huge grin as he entered the squad room, but he didn't care. He was much too happy. The world was a perfect place to live in.

He danced to his desk, his iPod playing his favorite music as he went. Oh what a glorious day! He was on top of the world! He was…

Ziva was missing. Meh, she would only try to kill him again. McGoo was sitting at his desk, looking at him in alarm but that was completely normal. He simply did not understand how perfect this day was.

Why did he want to stay in the squad room anyway? Going to see Abby was a better idea. She saw everything in the same light he did. Her music had a faster beat than his and he could dance along to it. It wasn't as though they had a case or anything.

Or did they?

"Probie!" he yelled at the top of his voice. "Do we have a case?" He punctuated his question with his arms flying out.

McGeek continued to stare at him as though he was an alien from another planet. "Not that I'm aware of," he managed to stutter. "Ziva arrived before I did. You could ask her."

"I am not asking Ziva anything," he decided, continuing to wave his arms around. "Do you know why?"

"Because she's not the Senior Field Agent?" McGoo suggested.

"She's not? Oh, I am. No, because she tried to kill me last night!" he declared. He looked around in confusion. "Where's Abby?"

"In her lab." The Probie's hand was slowly edging towards his phone.

"I'll be safe there," he proclaimed. "Do not do anything without my permission."

He swept away, wondering briefly why the Probie was acting so strangely. But it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered. He was going to see their mistress of the night.

* * *

Timothy McGee was cursing himself for missing the date marked on his calendar. He should have remembered that today was the day Tony was due to go hyper. He had programmed it into his cell phone, his computer's calendar and written it on the paper calendar on his desk, but somehow he had completely forgotten about it.

After his initial confusion, he had begun to enjoy Tony's antics. The Senior Field Agent had bounced between Abby's lab and the squad room, much to everyone's amusement. He was completely off his rocker. He sang loudly in the hallways, he kept dancing to a tune only he could hear, he declared his undying love for everyone and he kept walking into things.

McGee had not seen Ziva in the squad room all day. Eventually he had searched for her on his lunch break – not that he had a defined lunch break today: Tony had told him to 'do whatever he liked' on his fourth trip to the squad room in an hour – and found her in Autopsy. She and Ducky were engaged in a discussion of the efficacy and painfulness of various poisons and he had decided on plausible deniability.

Abby had looked exhausted. She had told him the story of the previous night. Now Tony's comments about Ziva trying to kill him last night made sense. He had sworn her to secrecy and told her about Tony's coffee in return.

And the gossip continued to swirl. After a while, the novelty of Tony acting like a complete buffoon had worn off and everyone wanted him to leave them alone. McGee found himself safe because Tony seemed to have forgotten all about him.

The latest gossip was that Acting Director Wofford had kicked Tony out of a meeting with the team leaders because of his behavior. Gibbs and Jenny were both going to hear about his antics when they left quarantine.

Tony wouldn't be able to deny what had happened, but he wouldn't be able to blame Ziva for tampering with his coffee either. The coffee shop would never breathe a word about what had happened.

McGee began to chuckle. He wondered how Tony was going to get to sleep tonight and he couldn't stop laughing.


	15. Day Fourteen

Chapter 15: Day Fourteen

Tony DiNozzo rolled over in his bed, desperately trying to go to sleep. The only conclusion he had arrived at over his current lack of sleep was that he must have too much caffeine in his system. But that couldn't be the case. He hadn't had anything to drink since his final cup of the day from the coffee shop four hours ago.

He shook his head in vain. This was unbearable. He hadn't been able to sleep well the previous night after Ziva had tried to kill him. And every time his eyes had closed, he had seen her standing with a knife over the couch where he lay.

He was fairly sure he had been an idiot at the Navy Yard, but he couldn't figure out why. He was wired. Too wired. He needed to calm down.

Dragging half his bed into the living room, he settled down on the couch and turned the television on. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well find something to do in the meantime. He thought _Big Brother _might on a channel somewhere.

It took him a while, but he settled down to watch some pointless television. His covers hanging mainly off the couch, he wondered if the sheer boredom-fest that was _Big Brother _could possibly send him to the land of Nod. Why would anyone want to watch a group of people stuck in a house together?

It reminded him that Gibbs and Jenny were due back soon. Unless they had managed to kill each other. He was putting money on Gibbs winning that fight. Although he wasn't sure if Gibbs would hit a lady.

The lowered noise from the television made him relax. He was drifting off, he was drifting off…

The phone rang, startling him. He sat bolt upright. Was it Ziva, warning him that she was on her way to kill him? He reached tentatively for the phone, noticing another program was now running on the television. He must have fallen asleep then.

"What?" he demanded. He was not in the mood for early morning calls, not after the last few days.

"Tony?"

"Abs?" he replied. "I am not picking you up from another cemetery. Call Ziva; she'll kill any zombies."

"I'm not at the cemetery," she protested. "I'm with the nuns."

"What are you doing with –"

"My apartment flooded and they've agreed to let me sleep here for a few nights," she hissed.

"You called to tell me this?" he wondered.

"Anthony DiNozzo, shut up!" she ordered. He heard her take a deep breath before continuing. "Ziva's put you on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list. There are agents on their way to your apartment right now!"

He took a shaky breath. "What am I supposed to have done?" he squeaked.

"Dave didn't tell me the charges; he just rang to ask if I worked with you. I got him off the phone fast and thought I'd warn you!"

Tony tried to think straight.

"Get out of your apartment," she advised. "Get out now. Ziva will have to take you off the list tomorrow when Gibbs finally leaves quarantine. You just need to hide for twenty four hours."

"Right," he answered. His brain was now working. Get out and stay out. "I'll be back tomorrow morning," he told her, slamming the phone down and racing for his bedroom. Twenty four hours. What was he going to need?

* * *

Ziva David smiled to herself in the squad room. McGee had appeared at midday and decided to stay after noticing the lack of Tony.

It was so peaceful in here for once! She should have thought of this a long time ago. Tony had to stay out of sight for the whole day. And even if he was caught, he would have a lot of explaining to do. Murder charges were tricky to get rid of in a hurry.

She smiled again as she thought of her partner-in-crime. FBI Special Agent Sacks had been more than happy to help her when she had informed him of her plan. It was useful to cultivate a friendship with someone her partner hated. Tony would be taken off the list by tomorrow morning and they would never discuss it again. Gibbs would not find out.

Although she planned to tell Jenny about her plan. She had a feeling the redhead would enjoy it.

She began to hum softly to herself in the tranquility of the squad room. The 'parents', as Abby termed them, would be back tomorrow barring any unforeseen hitches. Nevertheless, she had enjoyed the past fortnight. It was a pity it was coming to an end.

Hopefully she would have bought Tony down a peg or two. She was sure she had the term correct now – McGee was incredibly helpful.

* * *

Tony DiNozzo was cold and hungry.

He had spent the entire day on the run. It had not been like in the movies, with car chases and glamorous women helping him. It had been cold, miserable and uncomfortable.

The bitter wind continued to howl around his ears as he continued to move. He had eventually found it easier to keep moving than finding somewhere to hole up. It was warmer if he moved and it lowered the chance of him being arrested for any reason. He did not want to end up in a cell overnight.

Although he had been tempted. It had to be warmer in a cell. And Ziva had to have some back-up plan for if he ended up being arrested. It would look bad for her in Gibbs' eyes if he found out what had happened.

He was grateful that it had yet to rain. Tomorrow morning, he would go back to the Navy Yard and try to act normal upon Gibbs and Jenny's return. It was a pity he couldn't get Ziva back for this, but the war had to end. Otherwise Gibbs would end them.

Still, it had been an enjoyable week. He supposed his highlight had been the 'acid' incident, even if it had driven Ziva completely mad and she had been seeking her revenge ever since. It had been worth it overall.

And then the heavens opened.


	16. Epilogue

Chapter 16: Epilogue

Abby sat on McGee's desk in the squad room, waiting for the parents to arrive. They were due soon. She knew they had been released; she'd been calling the CDC nonstop until they had released the information.

And Ducky had told her as well. She trusted him over the mean CDC doctors who wouldn't let her run her own tests on Mommy and Daddy's blood.

She just wanted to be sure. She wasn't sure if the CDC had released the right people. Maybe they had mixed up Gibbs and Jenny with two other people and the real Gibbs and Jenny had died while the other two had survived and been released under the wrong names…

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

She had spoken to them! The CDC had to have everyone the right way around or else she would not have had that phone call! She breathed a sigh of relief as Tony arrived in the squad room.

"Have you seen them?" she demanded.

"In case anyone was wondering, I survived twenty four hours on the FBI's Most Wanted list," he announced.

"I knew you'd survive," she told him, jumping off the desk and enveloping him in a hug. "I never doubted it."

She ignored the snort from McGee. She would get him back later.

* * *

Ziva David watched as Abby headed back to her lab, Ducky on her arm. The kind doctor had decided she would be better off in her lab rather than waiting endlessly for Jenny and Gibbs to arrive. They were definitely running late…

She rubbed her eyes as she tried to work out whether Tony knew who had placed him on the FBI's list. He had to have figured out that she could not do it alone. She was hoping his thoughts were leaning towards Fornell. Now that would be an interesting conversation.

Tony sat in Gibbs' chair still. Clearly he had no intention of relinquishing it before their boss returned. Ziva privately felt that Gibbs would kick Tony into next week if he found out which chair he had been sitting in for the past fortnight.

As though he had read her thoughts, Tony stood up and moved towards his old desk. He paused in the middle of the squad room and turned to her.

"Ziva," he stated.

She stood up and moved around her desk to join him. "Tony," she replied.

"We should call a truce," he told her. "The war ends right now, before Gibbs returns."

She smiled softly. "Deal."

They shook each other's hands and Ziva moved over to McGee's desk as Tony arrived at his own.

Tony's chair collapsed the instant he sat on it.

Ziva and McGee laughed.

THE END


End file.
